The Three most Important People in Your Life

What if I told you that the key to happiness, success, and fulfillment comes down to just three people? These individuals are either your greatest allies or your biggest obstacles—depending on how you choose to treat them.

Who are they? Your parents? A mentor? A lifelong friend?

No.

These three people are You, Yourself, and Oneself—the different versions of you that shape your mindset, decisions, and future.

In this post, I’ll break down how fixing your relationship with yourself is the most powerful step you can take toward building the life you want. I’ll also share how introspection transformed my life and how you can apply it to yours.

Yourself (Past Self) – The stories That Shaped you

If you ever feel stuck in life and can’t find the reason around you, it might be because you’re still carrying a version of yourself that doesn’t have to be the current you.

Your past self holds memories, regrets, and conditioning that shape how you see yourself today. Maybe you were once a fun, confident kid, but over time, criticism, failures, or past experiences chipped away at that belief.

• The past doesn’t define you, but it does influence you—until you actively rewrite the story.

For much of my life, I struggled with self-belief and confidence. I had no real supporters or motivators in my corner. Each setback reinforced the idea that I wasn’t enough. But the truth is, we have more control over our past’s impact than we think.

How to Strengthen This Relationship

• Recognize where your inner critic comes from – Harsh parenting? Past failures? Negative experiences? Identifying the source weakens its grip.
• Reframe past experiences as lessons, not limits – Instead of “I was always shy,” think, “I learned to observe before I spoke.”
• Ask yourself: If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, what would it be? Now, how can I apply that advice today?

You (Present Self) – The Only One Who Can Change the Narrative

You don’t owe your past self anything, but you owe your future self everything.

This is the most powerful version of you because it’s the one who makes choices right now.

For years, I thought I needed to keep changing to fit the people around me. I didn’t realize I was carrying past regrets and downfalls that kept creating an endless cycle of self-doubt. But then I realized:

My present self is the only one who can break the cycle.

How to Strengthen This Relationship

• Practice self-compassion – Stop punishing yourself for things that are out of your control at this point.
• Engage in active introspection – When something triggers discomfort (social anxiety, emotional outbursts, insecurities), instead of avoiding it, sit with it and analyze it.
• Make small, intentional choices – Every time you set a boundary, show up for yourself, or make a bold move, you are rewiring the present you into the person you want to become.

Example Reflection Exercise:
“What situation(s) recently made me feel powerless? What could I have done differently? How will I respond next time?”

Oneself (Future Self) – The Person You Are Becoming

Your future self will either be grateful for today’s choices or wish they had made them sooner.

Your daily habits, choices, and mindset are silently building the person you will become.

Your future self is the compilation of your current habits, thoughts, and decisions. Every time you imagine what life could be like, you’re having a conversation with your potential.

The question is: Are you listening?

How to Strengthen This Relationship

• Make decisions through the lens of your future self – What would my 20, 30, 40, 50, etc-year-old self want me to do right now?
• Create a “Future Self Identity” Statement – Example:
  “I am someone who sets boundaries, takes care of my body with intention, and pursues my goals with confidence and conviction.”
• Visualize success AND take small steps toward it – Future You doesn’t arrive by accident—it’s built by today’s actions.

Practical Challenge:
“Write a letter from your Future Self to your Present Self. What advice would they give you?”

Final Thoughts

Your past self shaped you, but it doesn’t control you. Your present self is the only one with the power to make change. Your future self is waiting for you to take action.

So, which version of you will you listen to today?

If this post resonated with you, choose one small action today that will make your future self proud. Your transformation starts now!

“The greatest moments in our life are often the ones that will happen because of what has happened”

-Simple Big Dreams

💭 Main Takeaway: Self-growth isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about strengthening your connection with yourself across time.